Last night the neighbors invited me to a campfire in the garden.
“America is awesome!” the ten-year-old neighbor boy told me. And why was that? “Because there’s guns and money.”
Did everyone just walk around with a big gun cha-ching? Did all the grannies have tasers in their handbags? He and his friends wanted to know. I attempted to expand the boys’ knowledge of America by showing them how to make s’mores, using British marshmallows (no corn syrup! real gelatin! half-sized!), Cadbury’s chocolate, and digestive biscuits.
“But why are guns so awesome?” pressed an adult.
“Guns and money — that’s everything you need.”
“What about love and food?” I asked.
“It’s kind of the same thing,” said one of the adults, and a lightbulb clicked on for those boys.
“Guns are like robot willies!”
Then they wanted to stick a sparkler into a can of petrol.
“Do you believe in God?” one of them asked me, before they ran off to watch Planet of the Apes.