Black Holes and Socks: a scientific study

Everyone knows about how socks disappear into black holes in the wash. No one, as far as I know, understands how or why this happens. However, I recently have observed something that I feel will add significantly to the scientific study of this phenomenon.

For the past couple of years, I have been doing laundry separately from anyone else’s laundry. During this time, my socks seemed to avoid the vortex of oblivion. Occasionally I would lose an ankle sock, but who really cares about an ankle sock?

Then the strangest thing happened. Nate moved in and we joined laundry. Now he washes and I fold and somehow, socks have begun disappearing. I do not think this is Nate’s fault. We’re talking about a man who is very good at laundry. Did you know that wool socks should not be dried on high? I did not, but Nate did. That is why he washes and I fold. But still, somehow, despite his careful sorting and my careful matching, chaos has inched closer. Is it because of love? Is it because of the low heat setting? These are questions science has yet to answer.


3 thoughts on “Black Holes and Socks: a scientific study

  1. One theory would be that the increase in mass creates a gravitational vortex; this theory would be supported if all parties were losing the same number of odd socks. If one party is losing more socks than the other, then we may have to examine the energetic qualities of each parties’ socks.

  2. It would only take a microscopic black hole to devour socks. Perhaps the gravitational field of two or more people is enough to tip the scales and create such a small one but one person is not. One might test this theory by monitoring the lost socks of single humans weighing over 350 #.

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